Notepad Scribblings of a Hobby Poet
Yes, reminds one of the birthday fun of yester- years. I could imagine the balloons popping!
This would make a wonderful kid's piece...
what an exciting clip of birthday party scene.thanks for sharing.
nicely done...my 12 year old grandaughter really liked it also....thanks for sharing
I can both see AND hear this birthday party scene!
Hi Elizabeth,You can delete this comment after you read it if you wish: Try this poem totally in present tense:Bright balloonsburst in excitementcandles on cakefizzle with celebrationnoisemakers applaud the dayWithout the 'ing' forms, it reads stronger, I think.
Mary, that is a great suggestion, and one I will take! Thanks for sharing!
Isn't it great when a commenter dares to give just the advice that turns a good poem into a wonderful one? And even more so when the poet responds positively.