April 20, 2011

Tears

PAD Challenge, Prompt #20: write a 'message in a bottle' poem
I needed to have a different take on this prompt than how everyone else responded to it - and ended up spending most of the day before inspiration hit. I remembered the verse in the Psalms, where the psalmist declares that God had "kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" (Psalm 56:8).

sorrows overflow
drown my eyes
break before you

remorse, regret
trickle away
baptize your book

griefs boil over
rise like the tide
overflow your bottle

7 comments:

  1. The middle of this slightly outshines either end...but only slightly, as the whole thing's luminous. Well done.

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  2. Comes around full circle in a very subtle way.

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  3. I like the way this goes round in circles. Comforting.

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  4. I really enjoy the wording in this. Such great descriptions in few word. I can see the tears that would "Baptise your book" and "sorrows overflow, drown my eyes". Beautifully written though very sad.

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  5. Sounds like the narrator's drowning, I hope she can float!

    Well expressed thoughts!

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  6. Thank you all for your kind words!

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  7. What a fascinating take on a message in a bottle - and I love all the tear/water imagery.

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